This is my bad girl’s guide to the holiday season that will help keep you both hot at night and give your eye a twinkle during the day. We’ve tried to be good this year, but really, was it worth it? Why be the nice girl this holiday season when being naughty can be so much more fun. So considering that Santa will not be visiting us this year, I recommend buying these gifts for yourself. Some women can wait for a fat man in velvet to buy them pretty things, but I definitely won’t be.
1. Strap yourself in.
Strap your girls in to Dita Von Teese’s lingerie collection, they’ll thank you for it. I have the one in the GIF above and I just adore it. Not only does it fit great, it makes me feel a little scandalous when I let the straps show. And you’ll be happy to know that it comes in all sizes so our curvy girls won’t be left out.
2. Wear Multi-purpose Jewelry
This cock ring necklace by Betony Vernon will take you from day to night. When Jennifer Anniston was asked to pick out her jewelry for her role in the new Horrible Boses 2, she drifted to this unique piece, having no idea what it was. I have tried to find a store that carried it with no avail but maybe you’ll have a bit more luck. I do know that Coco De Mer carries some other unique items that may tickle your fancy.
Watch Jennifer Anniston on Conan O’Brien describe why she picked this necklace.
3. Read up on Current Affairs
Speaking of Betony Vernon, get hold of The Boudoir Bible to pick up on some new skills that you can add to your bedroom repertoire. Because you can never stop learning.
4. Take a Smoke Break
You’ve worked hard and now you need a break. Everyone knows that bad girls smoke, so why fight it? I’ve tried but inhaling a real cigarette makes me cough up a fit. I found a new way to look like a cool kid by getting a nicotine-free e-cigarette. Ok, it’s still not that great for you, but we’re being the bad girl here and don’t care. I picked up a sleek and sexy black e-cig and am just loving how thick the “smoke” looks. Find yours in gold or silver here:
5. Wrap yourself into a fluffy dream.
Catherine D’Lish makes these extraordinary robes. Every time she posts one, I just drool and dream that one day I’ll be wrapped in all that marabou and chiffon. What makes her robes that much more precious, she only makes one at a time and then auctions it off on e-bay. If you see one you like, don’t wait to bid, as you will quickly miss out.
6. Leave a mark
We all want a Cleopatra moment in our lives where we’re painted gold. This is the next best thing and lasts up to 5 days. Be imaginative with the placement and see what the gold inspires….
I love the designs at Qtattoo: https://www.etsy.com/ca/shop/QTattoos?section_id=16241907&ref=shopsection_leftnav_6
7. Have Some Restraint
Show who’s boss by tying your lover up with this beautiful silk and lace restraint. You can always wear this beautiful piece to a christmas party and I’d bet you’d get every girl asking you where you found such a luscious accessory.
8. Mother’s Milk
Whether you drink it straight, on the rocks or in your morning coffee, Bailey’s can a be a girl’s best friend. Part deseert, part alcohol, this drink has the best of both worlds. Bailey’s is my drink of choice that helps me get through the holiday season.
Here are some fun recipes to help you add Bailey’s to your holiday tradition.
9. Appropriate Language
No bad girl is complete without the unapologetic dirty mouth. Make sure that you have the appropriate language to describe current events in and out of the bedroom, visit Foul-O-Matic to really extend your vocabulary! But remember, you get what you pay for….
Let’s get out of here and explore the North Pole. I’m a rebel without a Claus.