Ladies, I have a bone to pick.
Time and time again, I continuously run face first into the same old stories about bitching and backstabbing, let-downs and ego/attitude attacks… when it comes to the relationships we hold amongst girlfriends, loyalty, honesty and innocence seem to be fleetingly lacking. Now it would be considerably idiotic to assume that this is a new development – I think it’s pretty well known that women have been keen on attacking each other for decades (possibly even centuries). Maybe it has something to do with our genetic code, instinctual impulses or survival strategy… but it’s 2012 now – have we not yet evolved past these barbaric points? What kills me is the over-obvious smiling in your face only to stab you in the back later.
So why are women so catty? Is it jealousy that makes us tick? Competitive streaks? Insecurity or dissatisfaction with ourselves? The bitterness that comes to all too many with the loss of youth? Do men factor into the equation or should we all be blaming the media for allowing such bad manners to become mainstream pop culture (hello Real Housewives of fill-in-the-blank state, Jersey Shore and whatever show Paris Hilton is producing these days)? How did we get so hostile towards our feminine counterparts?
One thing I am very grateful for in the burlesque community, is what seems to be a lot of happy-go-lucky girls with soaring confidence. Instead of eyeing a gorgeous gal, they realize that they themselves have the potential to be just as beautiful and talented. More than anything, I have come to experience an array of supportive, funny and exceptional personalities that stand alone in their self assured stance. A sense of community if you will amongst the sequins, corsets, lipstick and fake lashes… While I’m sure negative feelings still surface at weak moments, it seems as though the maturity and acceptance that comes with the art bleeds into the groups overall mentality.
So ladies, next time you see a hot lady walking by, take the time to tell her she’s beautiful instead of bashing her. Admire the woman who has achieved success and let her inspire you instead of trying to belittle her image. Instead of breaking your head trying to find out her secrets, ask her for advice as a mentor. If you happen to be on the other end of the bitchy bullying, point it out! The worse thing you can do is be catty, close-minded or hurtful back, but you CAN make sure your attacker knows that she is way out of line in a sophisticated spat. Be calm, explain why she’s assuming the worse, and never lose that bemused tone of yours (it’ll drive her nuts!). Take the higher road and educate, educate, educate (otherwise they’ll just pass it on to the next dame who may be in a worse off spot than you)! Correcting what people deem acceptable happens one person at a time, start with yourself.